August Happy Hippy Mama
I hope this finds you all well. What a long strange trip these last few months have been! From quarantine to the economy reopening, to social distancing, to the ongoing back and forth of school reopenings. Wherever you are at in all of it I hope this finds you taking good care of yourself and your family. If you are in need of support please continue to reach out to a friend or family member, and remember I am always only an email away.
In the balancing of the pandemic, some old sadness has crept up to the surface for me. As many of you who follow this column know, I lost my best friend Heidi to a rare cancer three years ago. Grief, like the quarantine, has been a long strange trip.
Recently, I woke up with the strangest longing for my sweet friend. The sadness caught me off guard. I had slept well but woke feeling tired. The kind of tired I felt years ago, in the early days of my life after Heidi. I laid there for a moment deciding how to best deal with it.
Over time I have learned to pause and just sit with it for a moment. There was a time I would have tried to power through these feelings. To attack the day and tell myself I was “fine.” I have slowly learned that didn’t “solve” my problem, rather it left me feeling sad and run down.
Instead, I leaned into the sadness a bit and moved through that morning slowly allowing the day to happen as I needed it to. Picking out necklaces that reminded me of my friend and unknowingly grabbing a shirt with birds on it, another reminder of her.
I allowed the memories to come, to pause, to breathe, and to remember Heidi. And today, a week or so later I am still here, still getting through the day, with my sweet friend in my heart.
Grief comes and goes and I am learning I am just along for the ride. It is a realization that took some time to come to, but I am here now. I am learning all of this, the pandemic, the kid's ever-changing school plans, and my grief will ebb and flow, and there is no use fighting these feelings. Simply breathing and moving through them allows me to find peace amongst the insanity.
Today, I am sending love out to all those that need it. No matter where you are in this crazy journey of life, know you are thought of and cared for, and know you are loved. Hug (even if it is socially distanced or virtually) your loved ones if they are with you, and don’t for a moment take for granted the little things because once it’s all over those are the BIG things! If you want to continue the conversation feel free to reach out at Happyhippymama@yahoo.com or find me on Facebook at Happy Hippy Mama.
Until next time,
A Peninsula, Ohio, native, Emily Holody is a stay-at-home mother and freelance writer with a degree in Sociology from Kent State University. She has a background in mental health and social work, loves yoga, all things outdoors, and lives in Euclid with her childhood sweetheart and their family.