Bob's Corner

I like the word “but”.  I use it all the time.

I have had Leukemia, but I was cured and survived.  Ten years later I have developed an incurable blood cancer, but I am doing just fine.  I have an elevated white blood cell count and my platelet count went over 1 million, but I am now taking a chemo pill that should reduce my counts to near normal.

The word “but” does not mean to disregard everything that comes before it in a sentence.  It means that although what was said is true, there is more to be said about the situation.

Look back in your own life.  I’m sure you’ve experienced some tough times, but you have survived.  You have grown beyond the circumstances of where you once were.  Do you give yourself credit for that?  Do you give yourself any credit at all?

I had a talk with a wonderful man over the weekend.  He’s spent all of his life in a helping profession, and is now retired.  His wife is currently going through a rough time with cancer.  She is losing her hair and has various physical side effects from the treatment.  He loves her.  He told me that it doesn’t matter if all her hair falls out because he’s not in love with her hair.  He’s being as supportive as possible, but quite honestly, he looked absolutely exhausted.  Then he told me that he has a nephew facing an ongoing battle with depression, and that he was going to speak with him in the hopes of bringing him some encouragement.  

As we talked I felt the need to tell him, “You are a good man.”  His reaction was to look down and to stay silent.  I repeated it.  “You know you’re a good man, right?”  He simply touched his chest, over his heart, a couple of times.  He continued to look down, and he slowly shook his head yes.  “I’m off to see my nephew now,” he said.

Folks, you can give, and give, and give of yourself until there is nothing left.  There will always be another need, but are you taking some time to care for yourself?  Always giving without adequate self-care can end-up making you angry, bitter and resentful.  If that happens, you will be no good to the very people that you are trying to help.

So today, I’m reminding you to take good care of yourself.  You need to put at least as much into your self-care as you do into caring for others.  It’s about balance.   Please make yourself a priority.  Put aside some time for yourself - today.  There are plenty of excuses not to do it, but this is one time when there shouldn’t be a “but”. 

Bob Payne, Manager

Bob also has a personal blog you can find at

Bob Payne


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Volume 9, Issue 6, Posted 4:48 PM, 05.10.2018