Bob’s Corner

He said.  She said.

I was recently told that an acquaintance was talking badly about me.  The person telling me wanted me to know all the details of exactly what was said.  I told them that it doesn’t really matter, and that I didn’t care to hear about it.

People can be cruel.  They can make things up about you, spread rumors or run you down for no reason.  What’s the best way to handle it?

Personally, it’s taken me many years to learn that what others think about me doesn’t matter.  It’s none of my business.

In life, you can try to make others understand your experience or your point of view, but they may not.  You cannot make others like you, or love you, the way you want.  They are individuals and separate from you.  You have no control over someone else’s life, thoughts or feelings.

All you can do is live your life, and allow them to live theirs.  If there is friendship or love to be had, it has to be mutual and freely given.  That has value.

I’ve found that most often, a person’s idea of you is simply a reflection of themselves.  What comes out of people’s mouth is whatever is in their heart.

So, the question becomes how do you treat that person?  Remember, how you treat them is a reflection of you.

Please don’t misunderstand me.  Sometimes you must end relationships because they are unhealthy, and that may be the right thing to do for your own wellbeing. 

But, the acquaintance who put me down will find that I do not treat them differently.  That doesn’t mean that I am in any way special, or better than anyone else.  I’m not.  It just means that I want the cycle to stop.  Here.  Now.  To me, that’s the right way to handle it.

Does this apply to anything in your life?